Denial is one of the most powerful and primeval emotional states human beings experience. Along with its close relation, a deep-seated desire to avoid confrontation, denial can keep an individual in an artificially happy place in the face of some of life’s most serious challenges. However, when it comes to the need to stand up and fight for what you believe are your rights, denial can be a dangerous, costly course to follow.
My experience has led to the clear conclusion that few welcome the prospect of litigation. Most of us are naturally averse to conflict. Psychologists tell us that denial – the refusal to accept reality or fact and acting as if a painful event, thought or feeling did not exist – is one of our most primitive defence mechanisms.
It is characteristic of early childhood development. Children find denial easier because, as we grow up, we mature and understand more about the objective reality within which we operate. Yet many adults use denial in their everyday lives to avoid dealing with painful feelings or situations. For example, a bereaved person may be aware they are being treated unfairly with regard to the terms of their loved one’s will, but does not want to cause a fuss at such an emotionally difficult time.
There is a glaring contradiction here. We tend to think we are taking the easy way out but by avoiding an upsetting confrontation we allow situations to simmer and build up. This makes them even more difficult to handle and resolve as time passes. Essentially, what we are saying in such situations is: “If I do nothing, maybe the problem will go away.” The problem is that it will not. We feel good in the moment but ignore the future.
Denial is a form of repression, where stressful thoughts are banned from our consciousness. However, the cost can be high in terms of the energy needed to maintain this façade – and in terms of ignoring a situation where we could be treated more justly if only we would stand up for ourselves and fight.
Only when the pain and distress reach a critical level do we face reality, by which time the matter has become far more complex, harder and, therefore, more expensive to resolve. Sadly, there is no substitute for confronting your fear, stiffening your resolve, looking your problem in the eye and taking the necessary steps to bring a difficult situation to a satisfactory conclusion. Yes, denial is perfectly natural but to resolve your problem you need to overcome your fear of tackling your dispute and take the first step forward.
Please watch our Video and then contact one of our team of specialist litigation solicitors to get a clearer idea of where you stand and what your options are. It’s simple, easy and free to do.